


Life Is For Living

by moonflowers



Series: Fili is a merdude WTF [2]
Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Bofur has a shell necklace, Fluff, Human Kíli, Kissing, M/M, Mer Fili, Ori is obsessed with merpeople, and Kili is drunk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-11
Updated: 2013-08-11
Packaged: 2017-12-23 04:32:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,918
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/922022
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moonflowers/pseuds/moonflowers
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kili is having a little trouble processing the fact that he's crushing on a mythical being. And the solution to his worries: get himself spectacularly drunk. Of course, this doesn't really help matters.<br/>Modern AU, Mer Fili.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Life Is For Living

**Author's Note:**

> I tried to write this as a stand alone to follow after the first part, but it didn't really happen. This won't make a lot of sense unless you read that one first haa.  
> I hope you find this pleasing :)  
> I'm sleepy, apologies if this doesn't make much sense.

That night, when he returns to his hotel room overlooking the ocean, Kili’s head is full of half-formed dreams of gold hair and warm lips amid waves on the shore. He dozes with a smile on his face.  
But when he wakes the next morning, room bright despite the early hour, the events of the day before are much more difficult to grasp. It isn’t the concept of merpeople he has trouble with, funnily enough – the world is full of many spectacular and unimaginable things, why shouldn’t Fili be one of them? No, the part he’s finding a challenge to deal with is that this is happening to him. Just his luck – go to a holiday resort to forget about an ex from Hell and celebrate his single life, and instantly fall for a mythical being that inhabits the bottom of the ocean. The stranger was so damn shaggable though (or perhaps technically not, Kili isn’t sure about the mechanics of merpeople sex) he just wants to grab a fistful his hair and do tequila shots off of his belly. He seemed far too good to be true, and Kili knows from experience that what seems too good to be true often is. A part of him is worried that if he goes out to the deep waters again, the fantastical stranger would turn out to be nothing more than a figment of his imagination, and he doesn’t think he could deal with the disappointment. So, instead of facing up to his concerns, Kili decides to go back to his original plan for his holiday before he met the stranger he’d named Fili, and go get spectacularly drunk.

After a day spent taking unnecessary showers, trying and failing to read a crappy paperback, and poking around what little daytime entertainment the resort has to offer, Kili finally deems it late enough for drinking to be socially acceptable. He strolls along the beach front, assessing each of the overpriced and vibrant bars luring in the unsuspecting public. He can hear the waves breaking behind him, a soft thunder calling him to their depths. Determined to block out their siren call, he turns into the loudest and busiest looking of the bars.  
Edging through the jostling crowd of girls in bikini tops and men with questionable stag party costumes, he reaches the counter, where the man behind the bar offers him a crooked smile. 

“What’ll it be?”

“Anything, so long as there’s rum in it,” Kili says with a grin of his own – the bartender appears to be the kind of man able to lift even the darkest of moods.

“House special, coming up,” he replies with a wink, and turns his back to start bunging various components of the drink into a mixer. 

Three of these dangerous drinks later, the man tending the bar – or Bofur, as he prefers to be known – is finishing his shift, and Kili is well on the way to being totally inebriated.

“This way lad,” the barman calls, another drink in hand for them both as he leads Kili to a table in the corner. It’s a little dimmer and quieter than the rest of the bar, lit by twinkly yellow fairy lights and decorated with old posters of DJ sets long passed. Kili plonks unceremoniously into the booth, reaching to take his drink from Bofur with a lazy smile. 

One drink later, he knows all about Bofur’s family, friends, and the flat he shares with various pet reptiles.  
Two drinks later, and he’s telling Bofur about his own family, and just getting started on the epic tale of his cheating bastard of an ex-boyfriend.  
Three drinks later, and he is definitely whining about his ex far too much to be socially acceptable for a first meeting.  
Four drinks later, they know each other’s favourite sexual positions, and are discussing the pros and cons of sex on the beach – the act, rather than the cocktail.  
Five drinks later, and everything feels like it’s both very far away and too close, and Kili can barely remember his own name.

“So,” Bofur knocks back the dregs of the lethal house special with a grimace, “met a fella here to take your mind off that troublesome ex of yours?”

“Yep,” Kili says with a smile, that drops instantly from his face when he recalls the exact situation he’s managed to get himself into, “But there’s a problem.”

“And what would that be?” Bofur looks into his empty glass like it might give him the answer. “He married or something?”

“No,” Kili sighs dramatically, “he lives underwater.” He frowns, thinking back to his slight panic of that morning, “And there is a chance he’s not actually real.”

“Hmm,” the other man picks at his shell necklace, “yes, that could be a problem.”

“It sucks.”

“Wait,” Bofur suddenly sits up straighter, “he lives in the ocean? What, like a mermaid?”

“Mer _man,”_ Kili says emphatically. 

“Ori knows about mermaids,” says Bofur with a wild smile, “Hey Ori!” he calls to a skinny man behind the bar loading more beers into the fridge, “this guy has a mermaid.”

 _“Man,”_ Kili points out again as Ori joins them in the booth, pushing up his sleeves and wiping his glasses on his shirt.

“Wait, you’ve actually seen a mer?” The small man asks, hurriedly pushing his glasses back onto his nose.

“More than that,” says Bofur with a smirk before Kili can reply himself, “he’s in loooove with him.”

“Nooo,” Kili groans and slumps forward, “I’m not! He’s just got these big arms and fucking beautiful eyes and a jaw I just want to lick.” He goes to take another drink, but realises his glass is in fact still empty, which right now is just too much to take. He sighs and leans back in his seat. “He’s so lovely.”

“Wait, wait,” Ori interrupts his thoughts, pulling a small notepad from his pocket and furiously scribbling, “let me get this down right: you’ve not only seen this mer, but spent long enough in his company to form an attachment?” 

“Mmm, I s’pose. He saved me from drowning and everything.” He feels a burp crawling up his throat and tries to keep it in. He may be pissed, but his mother taught him manners. “It was like a fucking Disney film.”

“This is huge!” Ori nearly ripped his notebook apart with the ferocity of his note-taking.

“What?” Kili is really having a hard time keeping up with this. He should have stayed in his room.

“Ori’s something of a mermaid enthusiast,” says Bofur with a yawn, “bit creepy, really.”

“Shut up Bofur,” Ori says neatly. “Now Kili, can you tell me – “

“He swears one saved him too, a few summers ago,” Bofur picks disinterestedly at his the shells around his neck again, “been obsessed ever since.”

“Hey, he _did_ save me,” says Ori heatedly.

“At least now you’ve got someone to fantasize over burly mermaids with,” Bofur winks and stands to take their glasses back to the now nearly empty bar.

“Mer _man._ Mer-MAN,” Kili says again with the unshakable determination of the thoroughly pissed. He rests his forehead on the cool tabletop. Sleep would be good...

“Kili, can you remember what his tail was like? Was it that of a specific fish, such as a lionfish, or clownfish, or more similar to an oceanic mammal, like a dolphin? Or was it something completely unfamiliar and unique to his race? What about its size in relation to the rest of his body, the ‘human’ part? Kili? Kili, are you awake? Oh, dammit.”

~~~

The next morning, Kili wakes on an unfamiliar sofa with a bitch of a hangover. His mission to get spectacularly drunk had apparently been a success. He starts to sit up, but feels like he might vomit, so lies back down with a groan.

“Good morning, my sweet prince,” calls a sing-song voice from another room.

Oh dear.  
Last night... He can remember the bar, but after that it gets a bit hazy to say the least. The smell of scrambled egg wafts in from the kitchen, and Kili can’t decide if that makes him feel better or worse. He eases himself up to sit on the sofa, noting with distaste that he’s just in his t-shirt and boxers, his jeans lay crumpled and inside out on the floor. Seriously, what had he done last night? It’s about then that he feels his stomach heave, and he stands and rushes into the room that the voice had come from. With some relief, he recognises Bofur from the bar last night, in a checked dressing gown and tending to a sizzling frying pan.

“Bathroom?” he asks quickly, attempting to force his stomach to calm.

Bofur just chuckles and jerks a thumb back in the direction of the living room. “Blue door, just through there.”

“Thanks.” Kili all but runs to the aforementioned door and promptly retches into the toilet. 

Five minutes later, and feeling considerably better after emptying his stomach, Kili staggers back into the kitchen and sits at the small table, where Bofur sets a plate of eggs on toast in front of him. 

“Thanks,” Kili repeats with a weak smile and slowly begins to eat, in the hopes that it would further settle his stomach. 

“You’re very welcome,” Bofur replies, sitting opposite him at the tiny table, which is covered by a slightly unnerving table cloth adorned with highly realistic ladybirds. 

“And thanks for... letting me sleep on your sofa and stuff.”

“No problem,” Bofur grins, far more happy than someone who’d drunk as much as he had the night before has any right to be. “Could hardly let you go home in the state you were in.”

“Right,” Kili chews on his toast and sucks some grease from his thumb. “Bofur, what exactly happened? I remember the bar, and meeting Ori, but after that...”

“That’s about it,” he takes a sip of coffee. “You as good as passed out at the bar – Ori’s pretty pissed with you about that, get ready for another mermaid-based interrogation soon – so I decided to drag you back here to sleep it off. We got back, and you were suddenly wide awake and determined to get in the ocean and see your man-fish,” he smirks knowingly and Kili feels his face heat, “and started stripping off. Luckily, I persuaded you otherwise.”

“Oh,” Kili’s relieved it wasn’t something more unsavoury: as much as he hates to admit it, he knows full well his morals get a little loose sometimes, when he drinks. “Well, thanks again. Seems I owe you big time.” He gives Bofur a sheepish smile and scratches absently at the stubble on his chin.

“Don’t mention it,” Bofur returns his sentiment with a toothy grin, and Kili wonders if the man ever stopped smiling. “Now, clear off. I got to get to work.” 

~~~

An hour later, and Kili’s hangover is mostly gone, thank God. He had bid Bofur goodbye with a cheery wave and a promise to go back and see him and Ori at the bar as soon as he could. He’d begun to walk back to his hotel to shower and change, but instead had found himself walking along the beach, jeans rolled up to his knees, and up to his ankles in the salty waters.

So apparently he isn’t the only one to have met a mer. Interesting. He makes a note to ask Ori more about it at a time he isn’t pissed off his face. And, he thinks with a smile, this means there’s a very real chance Fili wasn’t a figment of his imagination after all. Always a plus. He shakes his head at his own stupidity – the whole point of him coming out here in the first place was to enjoy himself, and he had to admit, the most pleasant hours of his short time here were the ones he’d spent in the ocean. With Fili. So why not make the most of it? Even if Fili didn’t turn up, he would still enjoy his time among the waves again. And he had the most wonderful fantasy for his wank bank, if nothing else.  
Grinning like a naughty child, he peels off his jeans and shirt and flings them onto the sand, wading into the depths in just his underwear. 

He’s enjoying the swim out into the deeper water for its own sake – it’s clear and cool, refreshing on his skin and washing away the worst of his hangover. He’s yet to swim out of his depth when he spots Fili, a good distance further out. Unable to stop the embarrassing smile creeping onto his face, Kili swims towards him, only slightly put out that the mer isn’t swimming to meet him. He stops, leaving a respectable gap between them, and begins to tread water. 

“Good morning.”

“Oh, hello,” Fili says with mild surprise, as though he’s only just noticed Kili approaching. 

Kili is thrown by the slightly cold greeting; before, the man had always seemed warm and friendly. “I – how are you?”

“Fine,” Fili replies curtly. He’s floating on his back, tail working lazily to keep him afloat. “Where’ve you been?”

Oh. Kili grins to himself as he sees right through Fili’s obvious attempt at being nonchalant about his absence. “Nowhere special. Did you miss me?”

“Of course not.” Fili snorts and rights himself, though he still doesn’t look Kili in the eye. “You think a lot of yourself, don’t you?”

“Yep. Anyone would be proud to have me on their arm,” he smirks, preening, until he realises Fili’s not laughing. “I – er –“ he clears his throat, “I made some friends,” he finishes somewhat lamely.

“Oh,” Fili stares resolutely into the water and twists a braid around his finger, “that’s nice.”

And Kili can’t help but laugh softly, because unless he’s very much mistaken, Fili’s actually _jealous,_ and isn’t that the most adorable thing ever? “Do you have other friends? Human ones that is, like me.”

“No!” Fili bites back defensively, and finally looks Kili in the face. “No. That is, I – I’ve only ever made myself known to one human.” His voice trails into a mumble, and Kili swears the merman is blushing, of all things. It’s fortunate the water’s still quite cool this early in the morning, or Kili may well be sporting evidence of how fucking tempting Fili looks to him right now. 

“Oh,” his smirk widens, “and who would that be?”

Fili slams his arm down in the water, splashing it up and into Kili’s face. “Obviously you, you little shit.”

“Ooo,” Kili manages to dodge most of the water sent his way, “picked up some bad language from the sailors, have we?” More likely the drunk and disorderly patrons of the bars during the tourist season, but whatever.

“Quiet,” Fili snaps, though he still looks vaguely embarrassed. “I’ll have you know I didn’t intend for you to find out about... this,” he gestures vaguely beneath the water to himself. “I didn’t intend for you to see me at all, actually. I didn’t know you were in the water when I surfaced; people don’t usually bother swimming that far out this time of year.”

“Well, I did.”

“Yes,” says Fili quietly, “you did.”

They say nothing for a while after that, just floating on their backs on the still water, accidentally brushing an arm or leg (or tail) against each other now and then. Well, perhaps it’s not quite so accidental on Kili’s part; there’s only so long he can stand the sight of the man’s smooth, wet skin without reaching out to brush his fingers over it. What he wouldn’t give to be able run his fingers through that gold hair, flick his tongue over his broad chest, and – and this was getting out of hand.

“I should get back,” he says abruptly, startling Fili out of whatever private thoughts he was lost in.

“I – alright.” Fili blinks and rights himself. “Will you come back tomorrow, do you think?”

“Perhaps,” Kili gives him an overly cheerful wave and makes to swim towards the distant shore, “bye.”

“Kili, wait.”

“Hmm?” He looks back to Fili, who’s watching him with a strange expression somewhere between a frown and a smile. “What?”

“I just...” Fili trails off, leaving Kili looking at him expectantly.

“What?” he says again, and he’s really not in the mood, “Fili, if you’re going to – “

He’s cut off as Fili surges forward to close the gap between them, grabbing the back of Kili’s neck and pulling them together into a kiss. Considering the roughness of Fili’s grip on him, fingers pressing hard into the nape of his neck and tangling into his hair, the kiss itself is surprisingly gentle; just a press of lips. He’s about to open his mouth and deepen the kiss, self-imposed celibacy be damned, but before he can do so Fili pulls away and dives back under the waves with a splash, leaving Kili alone and grinning like an idiot. He touches his lips, but all he can feel is chapped skin and salt from the water, no trace of the one who just kissed him is left behind. Biting his lip to keep his smile under control, he makes his way back to the shore and to his hotel, where he spends the rest of the day aimlessly wandering his room and laughing to himself at random intervals.  
Fuck, he really is in trouble.


End file.
